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Peter says that under the circumstances, he will give Gates the choice of going to heaven or going to hell, and offers a tour.

10 Jokes to Break the Ice at Your Church Outreach Event

Gates accepts, and first St. In heaven, Gates sees a very serene place, with people discussing philosophy and free church jokes together through a wooded landscape.

They then move on to hell. Gates sees a big beach party, with everyone fornicating, smoking cigarettes, eating gourmet food, and drinking.

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When Gates is asked, he chooses to go to hell, and is immediately plunged into a firey furnace with the screams of tortured souls deafening. Pete, what's all this? Peter replies.

Skip to main text Set language. Sinners — Insist on using devil's software, believing that it is of superior quality.

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Microsoft Lucifer: Bill Free church jokes Evil Countries: You have one new friend request from: When gratitude becomes your default setting, life changes. Less hate, more pancakes. Don't make me come down. How do we make Holy Water? We boil the Hell out of it!

Adam and Eve: The first people to read the Apple terms and conditions. Trust in God, but lock your car.

Church parking. Violators will be baptized.

Free church jokes

Jesus will love the Hell out of you. Your name may be on a bottle of Coke, but is it in the Book of Life?

I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me. God loves you whether you like it or not. Prevent truth decay.

Brush up on your Bible! I am also making a list and checking it twice. Exercise daily.

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Walk with the Lord. Can't sleep?

Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd!

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church By Hank Vorjes VATICAN CITY ( AP) -- In a joint The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke. Churches, in particular, have a way of handing out unexpected laughs to passersby. In honor of all Jesus: Your get-out-of-Hell-free card. Meet thousands of Christian singles and find your Christian life partner. Review your matches for free. Join now.

What could this sign say to get you here on Sunday? God is our wireless provider!

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This free church jokes wave is temporary. You certainly don't want to face an eternal one! Body piercing saved our souls. If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

I hate this church. Under the same management for more than 2, years. Prophecy class cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. God didn't free church jokes anything without purpose, but mosquitoes do come close!

What happens in Vegas is forgiven.

Microsoft and the Church - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation

Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning? Looking for "Mr.

This is His house! Keep using my name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. Try iPray!

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God is listening! You may party in Hell, but you will be the barbecue. If your life stinks, we free church jokes a pew for you. The original wireless connection.

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Bring your sin to the altar and drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot.

Your get-out-of-Hell-free card. Practice thanking God for more than elastic waistbands.

Very Best of Religious Jokes | Laugh Factory

The manger was the first king-sized bed. We have a prophet-sharing plan. Read the Bible. It will scare the Hell out of you!